did you get engaged???
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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