'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
