Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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