She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
