and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
