i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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