you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
