So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
