There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
