ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I need a hoe opinion
go on
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
