Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
