I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
When did angry sex become our thing?
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Randomize
