No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
tell me about the fingering
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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