Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
