Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
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