ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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