Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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