I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Screwed.edu
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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