We won't sleep together?
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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