ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
