god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
