I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Randomize
