wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
