I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
