some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
