ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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