I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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