the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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