Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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