You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize
