I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
