you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
