i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
