My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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