Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
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