white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
