The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
