i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Mom said you looked used
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
