Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
