Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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