dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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