You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I enjoy the company of your penis
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