God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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