i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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