I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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