just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize
