I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
party gras won. party gras always wins.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
