I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
