just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
