He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize