ugly people sure do ruin things
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
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