My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
